Welcome to my life...

Wow, I haven't written in here in forever. Maybe this journal reminds me of high school, and since I really don't want to grow up right now, I'm back here.

I've accepted a job offer. Which means in 8 short months I'll be doing real work, making real money. I still have companies calling, wanting me to come onsite and interview, which means I'm freaking out about whether I made the right decision in accepting this offer so quickly. But I didn't really have any time left on my deadline so I was kinda pressured into it. It is a good company, it's just now I'm hearing from companies in industries I'd rather work in.

I thought I'd be less stressed once I was employed. Not so much.

I'm having a mid-life crisis at 21.

So it's a Bears/Colts Superbowl. Purdue is right in between Chicago and Indianapolis. So half the campus is for the Bears, half for the Colts. It's going to be absolutely crazy here on Feb. 4th. :)

I'm going to San Francisco, Cali for $75 in November (with my professional society AIChE), I'm so excited!!! Although I'm going to miss a physics exam, an organic chem lab, and a bunch of classes, but it's still definitely worth it! :)

Chemical engineering is hard. Like really. I didn't want to believe anyone when they told me this, I just assumed I could do it. Now that I'm buried in coursework for classes with names that just sound awful and failing exams constantly, I finally believe. My chemical engineering class is like nothing that I've ever seen and trying to figure out problems takes hours. Then throw differential calculus, physics, and organic chemistry on top of that and it's just a ton of fun. I'm very very close to switching over to like elementary education or something like that. Ahhh I give up!

OUCH OUCH OUCH! I got horribly sunburned at the Purdue game today, like my arms are so freaking bright red, especially compared to how pale I was before. My face burned too, I have so many freckles now (I never had any before..). But yehhh it hurts. But we won 60-35 which means we get 40% off on Purdue stuff at the store sweeeeet. It was a lot of fun too :)

Last night was fun, I was suppossed to just chill and watch a movie but we wound up going out to KDR anyway...yehhh 8 jager bombs later :) We're going there again tonight but I need to hydrate like crazy thanks to this burn. But I'm excited!

COLLEGE IS AMAING!! :) :)

I finally feel like I belong at Purdue this year. The first week (and weekend) were great. I had a great time last night and while there was a little drama, it was horrible like last year. I'm goign to class and getting involved, I love my suitemates, and I'm having fun! I'm really glad I finally like my college like everyone did last year :)

Welcome to the greatest college week of all time...where a campus of 40,000 students celebrate a seemingly ordinary go-kart race by engaging in a week of mind blowing, wasted beyond your wildest dreams, nonstop parties...where class shuts down & drunken students stumble from bar to bar, frat to frat, street to street, drinking everything in sight and no amount of alcohol poisoning can stop them...where it's more than acceptable to start drinking the moment you awake, & slipNslides, mud wrestling, beer pong, live bands, & power hours are a daily occurence...welcome to the greatest college week in America as rated by Sports Illustrated, PlayBoy & The Princeton Review.
Welcome to...
GRAND PRIX WEEK AT PURDUE!!

Well it's nice to know this school knows how to party, even if I'm not joining in this year :P

So I'm looking at eight years of college. Four years for a B.S. in Chemical Engineering, then four more years for a doctorate in Pharmacy.

Oh joy.

I love my boo :)

Spring break was good. Some hot weather for a bit was nice. Spending a week with Dylan was great :) I still miss everyone in CT though so I really can't wait for summer. Almost four months, it's gonna be good to be home. Although this whole getting an internship thing isn't really working out which sucks so much :(

School sucks. I have like 8 exams and finals and such before freshman year is done in like a month. And again, my GPA sucks so bad I just want to cry. I was so smart before college. Oh well, I decided if engineering fails me, I'll just become a flight attendant heh.

I look in the mirror and disgust myself. I hate my body. I know I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny either. This in-between weight sucks more than being fat would I think. I want to wear cute clothes but going shopping just depresses me, nothing looks good on me. And I'm too lazy to do anything about it.

Meh. :/

So I've decided to stay at Purdue. And I think I can be happy here, or be okay anyway. This last week was stressful with exams and all, but I realized how many friends I do have here, and that I can make it without always being with Dylan. I really need to have a life outside of my relationship, I too easily let my whole world revolve around my love life. The distance will make it easier for me to do that I think. I'll still miss him like crazy tho, and sometimes when I think about how crazy things would be if I was at the same college as him, it's depressing but eh.

My dad said hell no to me transferring to Tennessee. And I really got my hopes up about it, I applied, and imagined how wonderfully perfect everything would be there. And now I just don't know what to do...I can either stay here or go to Uconn. Neither place is going to make me happy. :(

Being home is so weird yet so familiar. When I first got here, it didn't feel like home at all, probably cause my room's pretty much empty except for my bed. And I still keep referring to my dorm as "home" heh. But now I feel like I never went to college, like Purdue was just one long dream and my life skipped from summer to winter quickly. I haven't really seen many people yet, just Dylan, Adam, Pete, and Davy but I think everyone esle will be home soon so yay :) Plus I really don't have a curfew, and my parents pretty much encouraged me to sleep over Dylan's the other night, and he's allowed to stay over here too, they're trying pretty hard to be nice to me :)

I'm making out like a bandit this Christmas season too, maybe I won't be a poor college student anymore. Well for a few months anyway :P

I think I'm gonna go visit the high school soon. And thank Mrs. Laporte for saving my life in chem, and then murder Mr. Diagicomo because he ruined my life in calc. Oh and visit Senora!

<3 <3

God I just wanna go home already. I miss everyone so much, and I really want to spend like more than a few days at a time with Dylan. Tommorrow I have my calc and chem finals and I'm absolutely terrified. I'm on the border of having to repeat calc again next semester and I just want to cry because I'm not used to failing. And it's not like I'm not trying or anything, it's just so freakin hard and so differnet from high school grr. Oh well if I transfer, everything will work out, just gotta convince my dad on that one.

I'm way too jealous. I trust Dylan but I can't help getting jealous and he's different now and like just he's got his friends at TN that he's always partying with and I know he'd never hurt me, but I think things are just gonna be weird next year. And I kinda feel like I'm a bit out of his life, with this long distance thing and all. He doesn't tell me a lot either which makes it even harder. But I love him to death and I don't want my jealousy to cause problems. That's why it would be so greaet if I could transfer.

Eh.

So I'm rushing Phi Sigma Rho. It's an engineering sorority, but it's still a national social sorority so it'll be cool yehh.

I can't wait until Xmas break, they're gonna have to drag me back to college...

Today was fun, I slept in late then went to the mall with Jess, Heather, and Justin. Justin has a car but it's at a garage off campus so we had to catch a bus there. I got presents for Jess (my roomie) and me and Heather wnated scarfs so we just bought them and said they were gifts from each other. I got a few other little things then we ran into Elliot and Brandon so all of us went to Steak n Shake then to this huge indoor go-cart racing place. It was $10 a race which kinda sucked but it was fun. You had to have a license to race cause they were like super super fast it was crazy. Then we went to Starbucks and I got my Secret Santa person a gift card and then we realized we were stranded there cause Justin had to leave his car at the garage and the buses weren't running. It was sleeting and snowing and stuff and we were gonna walk (long long long walk) but Heather called her cousin so me and her went there and got a ride from her so it was cool. Yeh so I don't know, I don't update anymore so I felt like rambling on about my day. Yeeeeeeeah...

I've planned out the rest of the semester and that makes me really happy. It's nice to know what the hell is going on, especially when it's a busy end of the semester, with exams and papers and lab practicals and finals and such. I just gotta get thru this chem exam and week, then I'm going home wirh my friend and some people on the floor, and we're going to Chicago. That should be so much fun. Then I come back for like a day and a half, which are gonna be insanely busy, and then I leave again, this time for Tennessee. I'll have an amaaaaaizng break cause I get to be with Dylan and everything will just be wonderful :) And I won't want to come back. But when I do, I have more exams, then dead week (aka stuyding for finals and finishing up work for classes) and then my two finals and then holy shit, I'll be on a plane back to CT. The next month is gonna fly.

<3

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want- good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.